Today I fell while I was running. Correction, I ATE IT while I was running. *Disclaimer: I am totally fine*. Imagine blissfully gliding along, gazing at the beautiful sight of the Institute for Advanced Study (where Einstein did his work), soaking up the late September sun. Then all of a sudden your right knee no longer supports weight and you fall with all of your weight (which may or may not be higher than it used to be) on to your entire right side, slammed against the concrete. Once you realize you’re not on the ground and no longer running, you turn over to find bloody knees, hips, and clothes in addition to the entirety of your right arm from your fingers to your shoulder.
I remind you that I am totally okay; I simply will look like a fool with bandages all over and will be wearing sleeveless shirts until I can pull myself together in the next few days. I tell you this story not for sympathy or comedic relief, but for a point. And no my point is not “when you fall down, you must get back up”. Yes that is true. I did get up; I did ask for help; I am moving forward with my life.
However, my point is that when we fall, Jesus is probably at work. Probably meaning definitely. The theme of the last few weeks has been me on the ground. I’ve been in way over my head with theology classes, Hebrew exegesis, denominational search processes, and field education debates on top of being a human and still being in a relatively new place. Many days I have just felt low. It’s not that I do not have A LOT to be thankful for, but rather A LOT to process.
A dear friend reminded me this weekend that Jesus works in paradox. That means when we are low, HE is lifted high. In our brokenness, HE brings healing. In our nothing, HE delivers everything. In our death, HE creates life. So as I sat on the ground today bleeding from my own silly mistakes (one of them being running in the first place), I couldn’t help but smile. Jesus has reminded me time and time again over the past weeks that I am not at Princeton to make myself considered “higher”. I am not here to gain all of the answers (partially because I don’t know that there are any). I am not here for me at all. “He must become greater and I must become less” John 3:30.
When I fall, Jesus is glorified. And that is worth all of the scrapes and bruises.
(Pictured: some of my bandages and proof I’m alive. Shoutout to Kelsey for using her lifeguard skills to patch me up)