Dirty/Dusty Hands
Ash Wednesday in the hospital is a humbling experience. Touching the face of a dying person and telling them they are dust. Smudging ash on the hand of someone waiting to see if their loved one will ever wake up again. Reminding nurses and doctors and custodians that their presence is sacred. Watching the…
When titles and words are hard…
Katie and I have started a ridiculously funny and painfully valid holiday tradition for our family. It started the year we got married (2020). Between canceled graduations, delayed wedding plans, goodbye-less moves, and the start of a global pandemic, we were inspired by a Facebook ad to get a dumpster fire ornament for 2020. A…
Thank God When Things Don’t Fit
Recently, I’ve had this song stuck in my head. I love and relate so deeply to the lyrics. A significant part of my coming out journey has been more than just acknowledging who and how I love, but also how I understand my identity as a queer lady with more “masculine” gender expression. I’m a…
Public Restrooms
Without fail, every time I’m at an airport, someone attempts to correct me about the restroom I’m trying to enter. It’s never kind. There’s never a moment for consideration before accusation. Just blatant allegations that I am a predator based on my appearance and my need to use the bathroom. I’ve had this experience with…
An Offering
It’s completely unexpected, but I’m living my best life right now. Carpooling with my wife to work where I help sweet kids with special needs all day, breathing well and breathing deeply for the first time in a long time. Doing what I can to receive what life has to OFFER (2022’s resolution word). Offering…
Hindsight 2021
*Important announcement at the end Every new year I do a resolution word instead of targeted goals. I never know fully what it will mean and every year it challenges me in ways I couldn’t have expected. 2021 – hold fast. January 4, 2021 I wrote: Hold fast to truth. Hold fast to joy. Hold…
Personal Information Form
The PC(USA) has a helpful job website where you can see churches seeking new pastors and pastors seeking new churches. The system works by each entity submitting information forms – ministry information forms for churches and personal information forms for pastors. You’ve probably noticed I haven’t written anything here since January, so you can probably…
Hold Fast, 2021.
“Embrace,” my resolution word for 2020, looked nothing like I expected. I doubt I’m alone in that, whether you had a resolution or a word or any expectations at all for the 365.25 days of madness we just collectively experienced. I was excited and ambitious to embrace change and joy and celebration throughout the entire…
OCD – not an insult, not a joke, not alone
One year ago today I walked out of my counselor’s office with a prescription in my hand and a new understanding of my brain. One year ago today I was diagnosed with OCD. OCD “features a pattern of unwanted thoughts and fears (obsessions) that lead you to do repetitive behaviors (compulsions). These obsessions and compulsions…
The Office: a reflection tool
If you know anything about me, you probably know I love the TV show, The Office. I can (and do) watch the show over and over again. It’s a lifeline when times are hard and a joy when life is good. I don’t know if it’s the dry humor or the brilliant writing or the…
Closure
Don’t tell my fellow seminarians, but two days ago I turned in my last final. And for about 3 minutes, I was stoked! I finished my finals earlier than I ever have! I finished seminary! But then it hit me. Now what? Besides a virtual senior banquet next week, my formal educational career is over…
Bless the Lord (even in this time)
Bless the Lord, O my soul And all that is within me, bless God’s holy name Bless the Lord, O my soul And forget not God’s character in this time of isolation For God forgives my iniquities – my selfishness, my forgetfulness, my frustration And God heals all our diseases – though it may not…
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Kelly Spencer 