My “resolution” word for 2018 proved to move me in ways I could never have seen coming. A year ago, I was being called to pursue. Pursue my education. Pursue my heart. Pursue challenge. And boy, did I pursue challenge in 2018! So as the end of 2018 came around and I started my reflection process for 2019’s word, I felt like 2018 was the year I needed to really push and really put myself out there. 2019 could be more restful, maybe something a little easier. But, no word was coming. I would have an inkling of something. No, that wouldn’t be it. I would dive into the thesaurus and try to find the word I was actually looking for. No, that wouldn’t be it. I would try to specifically not think about it and pray it would come to me. No, that wouldn’t be it.
It was in the moment I gave up and asked God, “okay, what is my challenge for this year” rather than “what is my word for this year” that I actually got some direction. It was like God knew I had to be in the mindset of another year of challenge in order for me to be ready to receive my new word. But, friends, 2018 took a lot of me. Questioning my sexuality, coming out (a process that is rewarding but also never-ending), starting my first pastor job, staying afloat in my first pastor job when full time classes started again, pressing into deeper vulnerability with dear friends and an incredible woman whom I get to call my partner in life, standing by a sister who got married and got job promotion after job promotion, staying connected to a brother who also got married and started wonderful next steps like residency and home-ownership, trying my best to be a loving and supportive daughter to my two amazing parents who experienced all this change. 2018 was a lot.
2019 has been calling me to shift the lens a little. It is still a call to be active and loving and curious and God-led. It is certainly still a call that will never be fulfilled. 2019 is calling me to delight.
Delight in the God of hope, rather than just preach about the God of hope on Sunday morning.
Delight in the creation around me, actually seeing its goodness and its blessing into my life.
Delight in the people I have who support me and love me and laugh with me (and only occasionally laugh at me) and sustain me and walk beside me through all of the things life has and will continue to throw at me.
Delight in the gracious, kind, far-too-incredible family God has given me.
Delight in the life and love and adventure and confidence and comfort I have in my amazing partner, Katie.
Delight in the privilege I have to study what I study and work where I work.
Delight in the unknown, even when it’s terrifying and life-altering and completely out of my control. And friends, this year has a lot of this.
Delight in my body and the strength it has and the strength it could have as well as the health it has and the health it could have.
Delight in the very big things that will happen in this year and the very small things, too.
It sounds so wonderful in that long list. I also recognize it is going to be hard. 2019 is going to hold a lot, some that I know about right now and some I will have no way to see coming. But that is exactly why God is calling me to delight no matter what, in all things. So, join me in delighting in all of the things this year. Find things to delight in and please share them with me! Or just check in and see what I’m delighting in on any given day. Let’s start making the world a better place one small moment of delight at a time.
To start my year off right, I wanted to delight in some of my favorite highlights of 2018. Feel free to enjoy 🙂