Life has been a little nuts.
But today was the first time in months that life slowed down (or at least pretended to). And it was glorious! I had time to check things off my ever-growing to do list. I had time to look through my boxes in my house that I’ve “lived in” for the last month. I did laundry. I went grocery shopping. I put AC units in windows (which should have probably been done much sooner). I sent emails that have been on my list for weeks. Really, I just had time to check in with how I’m doing and how things are going.
And it wasn’t until I was in the car on the way home from dinner to celebrate my co-pastor’s last day that I realized why today was so nice. It was like a running commentary in my head. I feel peaceful. No. I feel calm. No. I feel full. No. I feel delight. Yes! But rather than feeling accomplished for finding the right word (which is honestly a huge accomplishment for a pastor on a Sunday), I was disappointed. My word for the year is delight. It’s written at the top of my to do list – I see it every single day. And it was the last thing on my mind. Now I know what you’re thinking, what about grace, Kelly? Yes. There is grace! And there is flexibility. And there’s the reality that 97% of humanity does not keep New Years resolutions.
However, I do find it important to name that I’m not just disappointed that my yearly word hasn’t been primarily on my mind. I’m disappointed that I’ve been doing everything but delighting. De-escalating, decompressing, debating, debriefing, delaying, deflating – yes. But delighting, unfortunately not. I’m coming to find that most of that has to do with timing. Running around trying to do everything for everyone and read all the books you’ve ignored while playing all of the extracurricular instruments you’ve also ignored and magically be rested as you do it all – that is not the prime environment for delighting.
So I need your help. I know I will continue to have many days unlike today. Days where I am overwhelmed or overworked or over-committed. And I need good people like you to check in. Check in to see how I’m delighting. Check in to make sure I’m creating a home and a vocation and a schedule that allow me to delight. Check in to remind me there are greater, more beautiful, more exceptional things at work. Because today, I had time to do that for myself. But that’s rarely the case. So I’m being brave and I’m asking for help. Because God did not put us in this life to do it all by ourselves. So this is your invitation. Delight with me, friends!
(Featuring a beach pic because I finally got to delight in the sunshine yesterday!)