Every Sunday my co-pastor (also my best friend) and I pick a spot around the church to pray. We pray for the service, for the people, for visitors, for boundaries, for distractions, for guidance, for action. And every week we are sure to thank God that we do not do this work alone. Almost every time this comes up in the prayer, both of us chuckle to ourselves because it is just so true. We cannot do this work alone. We cannot do life alone. Nor were we meant to.
This strikes me as I am home sick today, attempting to rest, dreaming up ideas about next Sunday’s sermon and my wedding liturgy and summer plans and job interviews that are filling my calendar. It strikes me because it’s not something I have to worry about in whatever my next steps happen to be. No matter what I know that God is going to provide people to work with me, to encourage me, to wrestle with me, to imagine with me, to help me. So amidst a storm of uncertainty and imposter syndrome symptoms and overplanning potential outcomes, I have this small (but increasingly growing) sense of peace.
Luckily enough, last night was a beautiful, tangible moment of that peace. Last night I got to hear my brilliant fiancé preach. I feel obligated to admit my bias though I believe she is undeniably wonderful and talented and remarkable (not to mention kind, genuine, and stunning). However, there was a truth about the peace she presented last night, a peace for all of us in the congregation but also a special peace for me as her life partner, that was so real and so deep it brought tears to my eyes. She spoke of resistance, of redemption, of hope in God even when God is not mentioned. She wove together powerful stories that in turn empower us to work towards justice and love in this world. And I sit here today smiling as I reflect because no matter what I do next, I get to do life, I get to do ministry, with this amazing person. Our lives and our ministries will be fused together in covenant with God and that is something absolutely no one, no job offer, no negative self-talk, no uncertain housing situation can take away from me.
So I might be rambling a bit here today, but I am just overwhelmed with gratitude that I get to do ministry as my life’s calling. I am just overjoyed that I never have to do this work alone. And I am just overcome with excitement that I will always get to do life and ministry with the love of my life (who will be my wife in 110 days). Thanks be to God!
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