*Important announcement at the end
Every new year I do a resolution word instead of targeted goals. I never know fully what it will mean and every year it challenges me in ways I couldn’t have expected.
2021 – hold fast.
January 4, 2021 I wrote:
Hold fast to truth.
Hold fast to joy.
Hold fast to love.
Hold fast to faith.
Hold fast to health.
Hold fast to calling.
Hold fast to gratitude.
Hold fast to goodness.
Hold fast to hope.
343 days later I decided to add some nuance:
Hold fast to truth because gaslighting yourself benefits no one.
Hold fast to joy because joy empowers revolution.
Hold fast to love because it’s what we all need most.
Hold fast to faith because so much is going on that is bigger than we are.
Hold fast to health because we need our bodies and our bodies need us.
Hold fast to calling because it often leads us to flourishing, if we only give it a chance.
Hold fast to gratitude because depression is real.
Hold fast to goodness because it is both present and necessary.
Hold fast to hope because “everything that is done in this world is done by hope” – Martin Luther.
Holding fast to faith, hope, and love and so much more, I have resigned from the Lake Fellow Residency at Second Presbyterian Church. I’ve learned to value my safety, my family, and my calling too much to stay in a place that’s not right for me. So I believe it’s best for me and for the Church to enter a season of healing away from Second. It’s been a difficult time of discernment and prayer and disappointment and revelation, but in the end, I’m getting a sense of why I needed “hold fast.” Hindsight 2021? Because I listened to my body. I listened to my surroundings. I listened to that still, small voice that outlasts every overbearing noise of self doubt, assumed expectations, and harmful theology. And I chose to hold fast to what is healthy and good and faithful to who I am and the calling God has for my life.
Much more information to come, but until then, Katie and I are holding fast to joy for our wedding celebration in just 17 days and getting plenty of snuggles from sweet Benedict.
In my sadness, grief, confidence, impatience, and love, here’s a piece by Tim Okamura that has been speaking to me. Hold fast to believing wild stories of messy grace, seeking the Expected One in unexpected places, and sharing all of who you are so redemption might break into this world.
**For resources on understanding and supporting queer folkx of faith, I highly suggest you check out http://Wordmadequeer.com