In this strange season of celebrating the lightheartedness of Valentine’s Day with the depth of Lent, I found myself continually coming back to a similar prayer. So in case you also need to sort out your feelings in this time, here it is.
God of light and God of heavy,
For the seasons in which I do not know how to feel, I am still called to give you praise.
I give you praise for the exciting new discoveries and the things in each day that give me life. I give you praise for cold days accompanied by sunshine because they remind me where warmth in my life comes from. That warmth is you. I give you praise for the opportunities and spaces that allow me to press further into who I am and who you are calling me to be.
All the while, I give you praise for the new challenges and truths in my life that may be hard to wrestle with or even accept. I give you praise for the days full of worry and anxiety and the utter overwhelming times of too much work and not enough time. I give you praise for the exhausting and obnoxious sleepless nights. I praise you for these hard things because you are with me in those times just as much as you are in every other moment.
God, you are closer to me than my very own breath. You don’t leave me when I abandon you for my own interests or when I fail time after time or when I take credit for the amazing things only you could do. You love me despite my brokenness. And it is through this truth that I can reconcile this obscure season of valentines and ashes. I know with every fiber in my being that you are here in all seasons, gently leading me and calling me closer to you, for no other reason than you love me.
So I will praise you. And I will chase after you. And I will serve you and your creation with all that I have. I will have the difficult conversations. I will celebrate the beauty of the life you’ve given me. I will stand up for justice and love and mercy. I will pursue your call with overwhelming joy and unceasing delight. I will rejoice in the light and the heavy. Because you taught me how.
I pray all of this in the name of the one who came to save for the sake of love,